Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Guest Blogger Robyn - If Simon Cowell Had A Nail Blog This Would Be An Entry.

Welcome Robyn!!! She is our first guest blogger!!!  She's an wicked awesome friend of ours who can be brutally honest. (You'll see).  Now on to Robyn!!!

Hello Valkyries! What a joy it is to share this horror with you.

Disclaimers:I don't love pink. I have red hair and a very pale complexion, so it tends to make me look freshly exhumed. I'm horrified to have been presented with this colour.

I don't love Revlon colours. I've never seen one that made me say WOW. To be honest, I think "Whimsical" is completely disgusting. Kas showed it to me and I couldn't understand why people are sh*tting themselves over it.

I'm a complete nail n00b. Geez, I only own about 50 polishes. I don't do the nicest paint jobs and I'm not much with cleanup. I also have icky dry skin…this is actually the best my cuticles have looked in a while. I would apologize, but my skin hurts all the time, so no. Not sorry.

Onward!

Revlon's Pink Freeze is a salmon-bubblegum monstrosity with just about nothing going for it. My immediate thought was that a clown ate too much cotton candy and Barbie had to perform a stomach pump. There really isn't anything unique or interesting about this colour - it's a very basic pink with minimal shimmer. Irredeemable.

Formula: Quite acceptable. I had no trouble applying this eyesore, and found it evened itself out nicely in 3 coats. A little bit streaky, but easy to get under control. There was a single bubble on my index finger that made me extremely angry. I hate bubbles with the fiery passion of a thousand suns.

Wear Time: I decided to submit myself to the humiliation of wearing this out in public. For you, dear readers. It survived karaoke, which tends to involve a lot of flailing and beverage-related incidents. I experienced no tip wear or chipping within a 24 hour period.

Verdict: This is gross. F*ck you, Revlon.


Art.
Crackle!
Matte!
 Glitter!

It's still ugly!

Learn more about Robyn's booze-fueled anglophilia and nerdlust on Tumblr (http://awfullydull.tumblr.com/), where she occasionally posts terrible webcam shots of her own half-assed nails arts. 

15 comments:

  1. I agree. Ugly!! Pink doesn't look good on me either.

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  2. This was fascinating and educational.
    - Eliza (YES GEORGE I'M ON YOUR BLOG)

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    Replies
    1. If this is the promised trolling, you are already failing.

      PS. HAVE FUN IN MONTREAL AND I EXPECT A DATE WITH YOU ALL UPON YOUR RETURN.

      Delete
  3. Well... it kind of camouflages how ugly it is when you layer black shatter over it! That's a...plus?

    Fantastic guest post! Thanks for sharing your ugly nail polish/acerbic wit with us! :D

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  4. You know, I actually really like pink, but this colour... Not so much. Though I do like it a lot better matte. This would be a good base to do a matte glitter manicure, but it's just kind of wonky in general. Too bad!

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  5. Robyn needs to guest post more often! I am highly amused!

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  6. I agree, f*ck Revlon, most of their shit sucks. Except I do love Revlon Royal. I enjoyed this post very much.. And for the record.. I was expecting HORRIBLE cuticles and a disgusting paint job but scrolled down to see a nice and neat manicure.. don't be so hard on yourself girl.

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    Replies
    1. Haha!!! Polish job is mine :p pretty hands are all hers :)

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    2. I should have mentioned that, yes. Props to Kas. My hands have actually been pretty good lately - thanks!

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  7. Revlon honestly need to stop putting out such heinously ugly colours. I don't think I've ever willingly bought a revlon polish, I've only ever received them as gifts. I take it as an insult, tbqh.

    Fucking Revlon.

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  8. OMG I love her post! If she had a blog, I'd def. follow!

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    Replies
    1. I live on Tumblr, hit me up there.

      Delete
  9. hey we have almost the same phone!

    don't you hate when people say that?

    I enjoyed reading this, even if she thinks pink is gross..or just this one...and that she hates Revlon, she seems like a riot and a great writer=]

    I do agree with her about whimsical though.

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  10. You girls are insane, all of you.
    <3 Katie

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