Bullying is never okay. Bullying is one of the most base and ignorant things a person can do. To bring others down for your own enjoyment is nothing short of reprehensible.
Like many other people, bullying has been a major part of my life. I have no memory of a time in school when I wasn't badly bullied. Many times, the people I cared about did nothing and watched while people hurt me, made me feel worthless, and treated me like garbage. This is not to be accusatory, more to point out how difficult it can be to see someone hurting and know that if you step in, you could be next.
I nearly flunked out of high school. I don't know if I've ever really admitted that, but there it is. I nearly didn't graduate. I had a failing average for two semesters. I was so afraid to go to class that there were days when I would sit in the girls' bathroom all day long, just on the floor waiting for the end of the day. I missed 29 days of science in grade 10, out of 50-something. I wouldn't have to see my bullies that way. I would go to the library across the street, or I would wait until my parents left the house and then sneak back in, quiet as a mouse, only emerging later pretending to come in through the back door. I would make myself sick sometimes to avoid classes, and there were days I'd call in sick to my after school job at a grocery store because I was afraid of being followed there. Once, my mom and I were driving somewhere and a group of students from my school pulled up in a car next to us and started screaming insults and curse words at me. I didn't even know those kids, but I have never been more mortified in my life. Kids would chant my name in the hallways, pull my hair, steal my belongings, and once a boy held my hair and sprayed deodorant down my throat while a teacher was out of the room. I cut my hair off the next week.
Even though I am so glad to be part of a community of great bloggers now, I am so, so thankful that cell phones and the internet didn't exist in those days. When I went home from school, people couldn't follow me that way.
Now, as a member of this community, I dedicate today's purple manicure to ending bullying. I hope no kid ever has to feel the way I did again.
I used Illamasqua Prosperity.
yay i am loving these posts! this is gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteBullies suck and I LOVE your hand-placed glitter! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you! It was my first time trying that but I liked it!
DeleteThanks for sharing, Kas. <3 I don't know about you, but I've found it very easy to forgive the actual bullies compared to the adults who stood by and did nothing. Kids being mean and stupid I can understand, but adults--parents and teachers--who see what is happening and choose to do nothing about it? That's something I don't know if I can ever forgive.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing GEORGE, not Kas. Thank Kas too. Sorry, my brain isn't awake yet. :P
DeleteNo worries :) It's an easy mistake to make when two girls share a blog!
DeleteYeah, that was what was tough for me to understand, adults who knew and didn't do anything, but I think sometimes it's difficult because you never know what's actually going to help and what's going to rock the boat and make things worse, you know?
I'm so glad that we are so many that joined in on this subject!
ReplyDeleteMe too! What a great thing to do!
DeleteThanks you for posting this for NO H8. I am sorry you were bullied that is awful : ( (hugs)
ReplyDeleteThanks :) sometimes the world can be a shitty place but it's something I'm proud of myself for getting to the other side of!
DeleteIt's gorgeous, I love that purple!
ReplyDeleteMe too! It was nearly impossible to photograph. It's so rich and gorgeous.
DeleteI don't understand why did you endure bullying? I mean why didn't you fight, you could tell your parents or other adults about what was happening or you could change school or you could go to boxing section :).
ReplyDeleteP.S. Great manicure!
I live in another part of the world so I may not understand the whole "bullying situation" in your country right. Sorry, if it's so.
DeleteNo worries! Most children don't go to their parents because they feel like they can't. Whether they think it's because their parents won't believe them, won't take action, or will just say "Kids will be kids", those children don't trust their parents to help them in a situation like that. I believe that bullying starts at home (whether parents are actually being bullies themselves, or just won't do anything), and it is up to parents to nip something like that in the bud, and to do something. Don't just sit around and ignore the problem. Teach your child that they can in fact go to you about issues, and then build their trust in you.
DeleteThat's okay, it's a valid question to ask! :)
DeleteI did fight back sometimes(when that boy sprayed me I almost put him through a wall later, it took two grown men to get me off him), but I was so afraid that fighting really hard would make things worse. Kids sometimes feel like if they're backed into a corner(like if someone tells) the best thing to do is really come out swinging, which I wanted to avoid. The other thing to remember is that the friends I have, I've had for most of my life. My mother tried to get me to switch schools, but I was afraid to leave my friends so I refused. I thought, I don't know why, that if I left they'd forget about me or something. Looking back I think I should have done it, but hindsight is 20/20.
Another piece of it is that I'm very, very headstrong and I can definitely be difficult. For example, my family has a major history of depression and addictive behaviour, but I weaned myself off of anti-depressants early in college because I decided that I was going to beat it myself. They're definitely right for a lot of people, but I needed to prove that I could do it myself. I didn't want to seem weak in school, so I wouldn't take what my teenage brain saw as "the easy way out" and switch schools or let someone else, like a teacher, fight my battles for me. I know that sounds, and definitely is, crazy, but that's just part of it. I also had a hard time getting along with a lot of my teachers because I saw them as people who facilitated my getting hurt.
There are a lot of reasons why kids don't fight back, often it's a perfect storm of things going on that just make it really difficult! It's not one person's fault or anothers, it's just things that build and build until they're too much.
And you know, asking questions is good. The more people ask questions the sooner we'll beat this!
Sorry for your bullying story... I'm happy I've never suffered the way you and many others did. Also I hope to see the end of bullying one day..
ReplyDeleteIllamasqua Prosperity is beautiful!
Thanks :) I'm glad you didn't suffer too! I hope so, too. I think it's possible!
DeleteIt really is <3
Damn, so sorry you had to go to school with such assholes =((( Thank you so much for sharing this story!! I'm so glad you spoke out!
ReplyDeleteI also went to school with a lot of really great people(like Kas! We met in first grade.)
DeleteSharing is how we'll beat it, right? I think the more people who speak up, who make younger kids aware, the more kids who will avoid being hurt.